An open letter to the guy who’s been hurt

We all know the type. The paradox of having broken wings, desiring to be mended while craving revenge.  I encounter the i’ve-been-screwed-over-so-many-times sad, emotionally vulnerable boys and the i-know-what-it’s-like-so-i-wont-treat-you-like-that suave, pseudo-trustworthy men. The mission is the same: play or be played. Let’s stop these games once and for all.

To the guy who’s been hurt,

I’ve been there. Oddly enough it’s the result of guys like you, spitting empty promises like that cup of coffee you sip only to realize through the cold, altered taste that it was made yesterday. Try to understand that hearts will be broken by these vicious cycles of get hurt-hurt-cause hurt. You were wounded and found a sense of home and healing within my bones. I felt it, too. Maybe your misunderstanding of self-worth caused you to run. Maybe you wanted to regain the power that was taken to you previously. All you needed to know was that you no longer felt the aching of your heart in your stomach anymore. But did you not pay attention in high school physics? Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed or transferred into another form. Your hurt, while alleviated for you, was transferred to me.

Maybe you didn’t set out to give me the pain you showed up with. Maybe you really do think i’m beautiful and charming. Just know that I learned from you. I learned, once again, to not expect to be treated the way I treat others. I learned, once again, to take the compliments of my beauty that make me very uncomfortable with a grain of salt. I’ve been on a mission to allow myself to fall for good guys, but you taught me that even good guys aren’t good anymore.

So here’s my plea for you: make sure you’ve found a way to deal with your pain before you walk my way because my back is curving to the weight of taking on passed-on hurt through the shit she put you through that you decided–all while knowing what it did to you–to put me through

Sincerely,

The girls who’ve been hurt by the guys who’ve been hurt.

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